Raspberry Rain

I wake at night: Freeze. Blood sluggish. Slow. Mist, gray pulled like a veil across the eyes Spiderwebs tangle limbs. Bound. Can't breathe. Pain, bubble trapt. Rising from the gut. Choking. Sound is muffled, echoed screams reverberate. Pressure waves against the eardrums. Crack. They are gone. Blood of my body excised. Forever bleeding. Cold. Remember the reason: Duty, not a burden, but a weight Carried on the shoulders as Atlas might. Barbs pierce skin, Spear words slide through muscle and tissue, Analysis crush bone. Broken husks unmade with observations, Are remade stronger, devoid of insidious weakness, Dark skies at Night sing sweet hymns to strength everlasting. To a lack of weakness. To a shield against possibilities negative. Valor and love heavy, Like the Earth across my shoulders. What am I fighting for: Walls spring up Mushrooms popping through the forest floor Rooms filled with voices None speak the language I most wish to hear Faces move behind a veil of Vaseline Seen but distant, vague and blunted Mine but not familial Familiar in theory A key no longer fitting her lock Where has the tumor grown In me or them? Close my eyes, Whispers of the dead sing me lullabies All I want to do is sing along. XoxO Hey baby Shake baby Your pollen is a callin' All the bees for miles aroun' They see how you glisten Petals flexin' in the sun They catch wind o' your scent And your way they fly But if you'd only see me Baby, I'd be your humble bumble The sweetest little bee Sting. Puny God: Words spit acid rivers Coursing down an undeserving face Cut deep rivulets Sap the strength of the righteous Shatter fragile bonds With retard's might Stupid Stupid Dumb Short sighted Push away strength freely offered 'Stead of nurturing You're culling Whittling away at bonds of loyalty What do you think will happen When the last fiber bond The last tendon of kinship Is severed under your talons and harsh judgements Where will we be? Weaker. What The Fuck: I thought I was on your side A shield against the raging tide For a moment Thought I'd found Fuck I don't know Something Refuge Instead you bite my hand You don't want my help I'll never be What you want or need What the fuck is my purpose Losing sight of my point This poem sucks. Diary entry: So alone Alone alone aloooone Alone alone alone alonealone alone All by myself What do I do? Where do I go? So tired. Pathetic Ronin Nothing