Wren Smith/Contacts

• Zero - Sister. Loves chocolate and anus. Not necessarily together, but it's close enough. Be afraid if you see her carrying fruit.. especially watermelon.

Haters Wanna Be Me Combat Baby

• River - Friend. She always sees something in me I didn't know was there. I've never met someone so kind and generous. She's a beautiful person.

• Tyler - The best person in the world. My safety blanket that tends to get lost in the dryer far more often than I like.

When You're Gone

• Princess Dionysus - Like a mother, but not. The most feminine person I know. She really knows how to work her body.

Lola

• Shannon - Kinda nice. I think. When that guy isn't around her..

• Mugsy - I hope you aren't paying attention one day and you get smashed in the face with a watermelon.

• Arya - Just don't tell Zee I'm hanging around you! You'll never hear the end of it!

• Nausi - She's pretty weird, but I like weird. Crazy eyes, too, but they're kind of nice.