2018.04.27: PWN - LONE - LONE 11

Intro

As soon as we come to life, before anyone can even say anything, the public address sound system comes to life playing “The Man” by Aloe Blacc as this capacity crowd immediately begins to boo and loudly at that.

North: These fans already snubbing Stevenson and rightfully so at that.

DIC: Rightfully so? Are you kidding me? Stevenson has been a godsend to this company, a GODSEND, and you show him this kind of disrespect?

North: It’s okay DIC, you can remove your lips from his ass. I promise you, things will taste much better if you do.

With no reply, DIC simply sits there as the gorilla curtains part to the side and outsteps the man himself; the legendary, Drew Stevenson. Dressed in a very expensive suit which matches the color of his eyes, Stevenson quickly begins to walk down the ramp heading to the ring as he is definitely a man on a mission right now. Upon reaching the bottom of the ramp, he ascends up the steel steps and enters the ring. Walking over to the ring announcer, Baxter, Stevenson rips the microphone out of his hands and brings it up to his lips.

Stevenson: Cut the damn music!

DIC: Uh oh... Stevenson is in a foul mood tonight.

North: Of course he is!

With the music immediately dying down, Stevenson paces the ring while continuing to speak.

Stevenson: You know? When this company was on the verge of going belly up, which would have put all of you not only out of a job but out of a product to watch, I stepped in with all of my money that I worked so hard to achieve and I single handedly saved this company. I find it funny that all of you are so eager and willing to accept my money when you need it but now all of a sudden, all of you have turned your back on me and the first person that I would like to discuss on that matter is Jack E. Bux!

Pausing only momentarily, Stevenson takes in a deep breath, trying to calm down but it’s failing and badly at that.

Stevenson: You see, Bux was perfectly fine taking my money when he could not support this company and when I was having a few traveling issues, what does he do, huh? He places Terri in the tag tournament AGAINST my word, AGAINST my will and THANKFULLY; Slapp and Tick L. came through and made Terri eat her words, as well as Bux. So since you wanted to be a little prick Bux, I sat back and I did A LOT of research, I mean A LOT and I came to the PERFECT solution.

Holding up his pointer finger, this wicked smile creeps along his face as he is obviously up to no good.

Stevenson: See — it’s no secret that every single person in this company wants a shot at The Glorious One and being the fighting Champion that she is, I have just the thing to not only determine the next number one contender but to shake this company to its VERY CORE!

Using his free hand which is his left hand, he makes signs in the sky to signify just how big this match is.

Stevenson: BATTLE ROYALE!

Lowering his hand as well as his head, every single person in the arena cheers and loudly at that.

North: OKAY! OKAY! EVEN I CAN GET BEHIND THAT!

DIC: WHAT?!

Stevenson: That’s right, next month at LONE 12, thirty women will enter the ring and the object is simple, throw every single person over the top rope and should you manage to outlast everyone else? Then you will find yourself as the next number one contender so to every lady who will be entered into this thing — good luck because you will NEED it...

Pretending like he was going to exit the ring, he snaps his fingers, turns back towards the people and finishes up with what he was going to say.

Stevenson: Oh I almost forgot, there is one small little catch. Since Bux wanted to “make decisions” against MY will? I am going to make a decision of my own and that decision is this; Terri Thompson is BARRED from competing in the Battle Royale!

With the arena now booing Stevenson again, he simply shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

Stevenson: I understand! You guys are pissed but you know what? There’s only one person to blame for all of this and that man is, Jack E. Bux. So when you’re sitting at home tonight Terri, remember, you could have had the opportunity to make history but instead — you blew it by defying my word; remember that!

Dropping the microphone down onto the canvas, he gives the camera one last smile before exiting the ring to head back up the ramp, backstage to where his office is.

North: Of course, Terri Thompson SCREWED AGAIN!

DIC: She knew the risks when defying Stevenson’s word. I don’t feel bad for her, not one little bit.

The Juggalettes vs. No Fly Zone

Baxter: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is the first match in the Semi Final round of the Tag Team Classic!

“Chicken Huntin’” by ICP suddenly begins to play over the public address sound system.

Baxter: Introducing first, hailing from The Big Tent on 9th Street, they are SLAPP AND TICK L.; THE JUUUUGGALLLLETTTTTEEEESSSS!!!

Bouncing around on the stage, they quickly make their way down to the ring, mean mugging fans as they walk down the aisle. They hop up onto the apron and then enter through the top and middle rope. They begin to make hand motions as if they’re going to cut off the heads of the chickens. Laughing hysterically at their own comedy.

"Stay Fly" by 3 6 Mafia hits the speakers and a big cheer from the crowd comes alive as this newly formed team makes their way from behind the curtain.

Baxter: And their opponents, making their way to the ring, the team of "Fly" Felicia Hawkins and Kayoko Ichikawa, they are the No Fly Zone!

In confidence they stand, making their way down to the ring and giving high fives to all of their fans along the way. Felicia wears a backwards cap with a a flag on it, half USA on the left and half Japan on the right and a big smile on her face. Kayoko wears a zip up jacket with the flag design on the back with the Japanese flag on the left, the USA flag on the right. The look ready for action, sliding into the ring and jump into different corners with their arms up and getting the love from the crowd.

DING DING

North: The first of two semi-finals matches is now under way, the winner of this match will advance to the main event later tonight to face the winner of Gucci Gals vs Spice and Ice.

DIC: I'm down with the clowns WOOP WOOP! The team nobody is talking a bout is going all the way. They took out the Gutter Trash last month.

North: I still don't think many people have gotten over that tremendous upset. But No Fly Zone are going to be just as challenging and you better believe they're hungry.

DIC: Well they better learn how to fast and starve then because they're going to experience a famine while Slapp and Tick L. feast!

Slapp and Hawkins start for their respective teams as they circle each other inside the ring. Slapp shoots off and incredibly wild kick at Hawkins that misses by a good ten inches or so which causes her foe to just blink. Slapp with a grin shoots off another wild kick, this one coming just a hair closer but still wide off the mark. Slapp throws another kick that's surprisingly close, at least close enough for Hawkins to catch her foot. Hawkins toss her foot aside, Slapp attempts to use the momentum to go for a dragon whip but halfway in the spin she slips and falls on the mat on her rear. Slapp hits the mat in frustration... a little too hard causing her to clutch it before tagging in Tick L. out of frustration.

North: Slapp is very off the mark tonight.

DIC: She's treating this match like a mosh pit thrashing around with her kicks. Not very effective but I dig it.

North: She's missing by nearly a full foot.

DIC: Yeah but sometimes a little frustration goes a long way in the hotness department.

North: You can't be serious.

DIC: I'm a man of exotic tastes, what can I say?

Hawkins wasn't about to wait for another comedy of errors to fall right in front of her, not when she came to compete and she quickly goes to springboard off the ropes, just in time for Tick L. to turn right into a springboard hurricanrana! Tick L. quickly pops up shaking her head as Hawkins charges towards her. Almost as a surprise however Tick L. managed to counter with a rather sharp looking arm drag. Hawkins appeared to be impressed as she pulls herself up off the mat and quickly finds herself in a collar and elbow tie up. Tick L. captures Hawkins in a side headlock, however she quickly slips out of that and gets her clownfaced foe in a hammerlock. Hawkins begins to drag her over towards her corner looking for a tag but again Tick L. finds a way of turning a negative into a positive as she managed to flip her body away from the corner, freeing herself in the process perhaps catching Hawkins a little loose an unprepared in her grip. Immediately Tick L. lunges forward and connects with The Tick Bite! She begins biting on Hawkins' forehead as Slapp is absolutely floored and impressed at her partner's sudden competency.

North: I don't know, maybe it's the blow she took to her head off that hurricanrana but it's almost as if the lightbulb clicked on for the first time in a long while upstairs.

DIC: You know... normally I'd question something like this but they did send that trash weasel packing.

North: You're never going to let go of that one.

DIC: Why should I? To see Terri Thompson finally eat some humble pie; it was great! Hell, we just might be seeing a repeat!

Unfortunatey for Tick L. the force of her lunging and biting slammed Hawkins into her own corner colliding with Kayoko which the referee after a brief hesitation slaps his hands together to acknowledge a tag! Kayoko falls off the apron but manages to stay on her feet. The official tries to call for a clean break but Tick L. is having none of that as it's almost like she's a zombie hungry for brains. The official gets to the count of 4 before Kayoko slides into the ring and hits a vicious kick to her back, causing her to finally let go. Hawkins is quick to roll out of the ring and onto her side of the apron as Kayoko keeps shooting kicks straight at Tick L. Tick L. eats the stiff shots but manages to duck out of the way of one and follows up with a spinning heel kick that floors Kayoko and sends her tumbling to the mat. Slapp continues to watch on as the hope slowly begins to grow in her eyes, it was as if Tick L. found a hidden can of Popeye's spinach and hitched their wagons to the gravy train. Tick L. marches over to a neutral corner and climbs the turnbuckle spreading her arms out wide as she stared down at Kayoko.

North: Tick L. just hit Kayoko with her own finisher! Talk about adding insult to injury!

DIC: I... I don't know what we're seeing here but I. Like. It!

North: I'd call this a Cinderella story in the making but Cinderella never wore clown paint...

DIC: But why is she on the top rope like that? She's never once landed a diving headbutt in her career! This always ends in disaster. Don't jump!

Tick L. takes a leap of faith and goes for the diving headbutt. She flies and soars through the air getting incredible hangtime as she begins her descent towards Kayoko.

DIC: No..no...no...no...no...

She continues to glide through the air closing in faster and faster on Kayoko... faster... faster...

DIC: Yes.... yes....yes! She's going to hit it!

...Too fast! She completely overshoots her opponent and crashes clear on the other side of the ring having missed her target completely! Slapp nearly yanks her hair out seeing this car crash take place. Kayoko slowly sits up completely unaware that she was even the intended target. Tick L. is kicking her feet wildly on the mat out of pain.

DIC: DAMMIT!

North: Crash and burn. She might be seriously hurt here.

DIC: You idiot! You cocky fool! You had her beat...WHY?

North: Because everybody wants to be the first; everybody wants to make history. Sometimes you need to take risks and sometimes they don't pay off. But that just goes to show how important the LONE Tag Team Championship is.

Tick L. is extremely slow to get up, and all that tends to accomplish is ironically give the opposing team more time to recover from the sudden and unexpected early onslaught. Kayoko is up to her feet first, Tick L. very groggily pulls herself up with jello legs. Slapp yells for the tag and Tick L. stumbles and reaches out for the tag... to Hawkins. The official looks extremely confused and informs her that she can't make a tag to the opposing team. Kayoko looks over to Hawkins and motions with her hands to ask if she wanted Tick L. Hawkins politely declines telling her partner she can have this one. Kayoko backs up as she sizes up Tick L., Slapp however decides she isn't going to watch her friend get mowed over in this state. Slapp hops off and quickly grabs a bottle of Faygo rootbeer under the ring and enters. She goes to spray Kayoko with it but instead The Joke... is on her; she sprays herself in the eyes! Kayoko sprints forward and connects with the Star Struck (Spinning Heel Kick) on Tick L. as Hawkins darts out of her corner and clotheslines Slapp to the outside allowing Kayoko to go for the immediate pin. 1, 2, 3!

Baxter: Here are your winners... Kayoko Ichikawa, “Fly” Felicia Hawkins... NO FLY ZONE!

North: After a scare No Fly Zone advances! They'll have some time to recover before the next match but this night is far from over. Stay tuned!

Gucci Gals vs. Spice & Ice

The internet Pay Per View stream for those watching at home comes up to show that they're in intermission right now, and starts showing clips from past LONE matches and promos. Cooldown time for the next match!

Baxter steps back into the center of the ring as the feed cuts back to the ring.

Baxter: This match is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen minute time limit.

The public address sound system comes to life playing “Gucci Gucci” by Kreayshawn which immediately causes the fans to boo and loudly. Coming out from behind the curtain, both Miss. Gucci and Paula Prada come stepping out looking like a million bucks but also looking incredibly arrogant as well.

Baxter: Making their way to the ring, they are Miss. Gucci and Paula Prada — THE GUUUCCCIII GAAALLLSSS!

Having walked down the ramp and climbing into the ring, they both climb a turnbuckle and taunt as these fans continue to boo them but even louder now.

Baxter: And their opponents...

Again, the public address sound system comes to life but this time playing “Cinnamon Girl” by Neil Young as from behind the curtains steps both Cinnamon and Violent Violet. Standing on the stage, they stare down to the ring.

Baxter: Making their way to the ring, they are Cinnamon and Violent Violet — SPICE AND IIIIICCCCEEEE!

Walking down the ramp, Spice and Ice get to the steel steps and hop into the ring most certainly ready for this battle to begin.

DIC: Is it just me or did Cinnamon’s boobs get bigger?

North: Oh stop it! Is that all you see these women for?

DIC: Wait... That’s not all they’re for?

North: You’re terrible, you know that?

DIC: That’s what your mom told me!

Letting out a sigh, the referee signals for the bell as kicking this thing off is Violet versus Prada.

Ding... Ding... Ding...

Walking to the center of the ring, both women embrace in a collar and elbow tie up. Instead of dealing with this, Prada hits an immediate poke to the eyes causing Violet to stumble while holding her eyes. Getting in behind Violet, Prada rakes the back as Violet screams in pain and arches her back walking around the ring. Upon turning around, Prada smacks her across the chest with a knife edge chop as Violet clutches her chest but is struck again and repeatedly.

North: Paula Prada is on fire right now.

Pulling Violet out of the turnbuckle, Prada hoists her up onto her right shoulder. Slipping out however, Violet lands behind Prada and dropkicks her in the back causing her to strike the turnbuckle chest first. Upon stumbling out, Violet rolls Prada up.

One...

Two...

Kicking out, Violet is quick to her feet and as Prada is as well, Violet looks for a clothesline but Prada ducks underneath it and reaches back hitting a textbook Hangman’s Neck breaker.

North: What a neck breaker by Prada.

Quickly making the cover, the referee drops down to make the count.

One...

Two...

Pressing her shoulder off of the canvas, Prada looks frustrated.

DIC: It’s going to take a lot more to put Violet down and out of this thing.

North: We’re in agreement there.

Yanking Violet up to her feet, Prada pushes her into their respective corner and reaches out tagging in Miss. Gucci. Climbing into the ring, Prada decks Violet right in the jaw as the referee yells at her to exit the ring and she does so but only after abusing the five count. Rearing back and decking Violet in the jaw, again, Gucci hoists Violet onto the top rope and upon setting her up — she hits a huge superplex as these fans deafen the arena.

Fans: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

North: MY GOD!

With both women rolling around, Gucci gets up first and rolls Violet over hooking the leg.

One...

Two...

Thre...

Just pressing her shoulder off of the canvas, Gucci slaps the canvas out of frustration as Violet starts crawling over to Cinnamon but is quickly yanked away by her foot. Picking up Violet, Gucci screams at her, right in her face when suddenly; Violet kicks Gucci right in the midsection and hits a quick float over DDT as Gucci lies there, unconscious, as does Violet who has really suffered a beating in this match.

North: Violet NEEDS to get Cinnamon into this match or, well — it could be over!

Beginning to crawl over to her corner, Cinnamon reaches out as far as she can to make the tag.

DIC: My goodness, look at those jugs.

Grabbing Violet by the boot, Violet kicks Gucci in the face and jumps forward making the tag. Entering into the ring, Prada gets leveled with a clothesline and as Gucci gets to her feet, Cinnamon grabs both Prada and Gucci and slams their heads together as they both fall down to the canvas.

North: And just like that, the tides have changed in favor of Cinnamon and Violet.

Rolling out of the ring, Cinnamon begins to stalk Gucci, waiting for her to get to her feet. As she does so, Cinnamon spins and looks for the Sugar and Spice Heel kick but Prada grabs Gucci by the foot and drags her out of the ring, out of harms way.

North: What teamwork by Paula Prada. She just saved Miss. Gucci from getting her head kicked off.

Coming in from behind Prada, Violet double axe handles her in the back and quickly tosses Gucci into the ring. Upon rising to her feet, BAM!

North: SUGAR AND SPICE! SUGAR AND SPICE!

Lying on the canvas, Cinnamon hooks the leg.

One...

Two...

THRE...

NO! NO! Miss. Gucci manages to press her shoulder off of the canvas, just in the nick of time. Rolling off of her lifeless body, Cinnamon waits again and as Gucci stumbles to her feet, definitely groggy, Violet enters the ring and sends Miss. Gucci to the ropes. On her way back, Cinnamon picks Gucci up and hits an aided wheelbarrow face buster as Cinnamon quickly hooks the leg.

North: WHAT A MOVE BY SPICE AND ICE!

One...

Two...

Climbing into the ring, looking to break up the count, Violet kicks Prada.

THREE!!!

Rolling off of her lifeless body, Cinnamon raises her arm in victory as we hear Baxter.

Baxter: The winner of the match and advancing to the finals of the LONE Tag Team Title tournament; SPICE ANNNNDDD IIIICCCCEEEE!

Hugging each other while celebrating, Spice and Ice taunt the Gucci Gals as Gucci starts to come to, looking incredibly bitter and angry at them after she rolls out of the ring and regroups with Paula, heading up the ramp to the back.

Finals of Tag Team Classic

Coming Soon!

Post Match Segment

Coming Soon!